NEW LONDON, CT — Explaining that it was a great opportunity to connect with new customers and make some extra cash, the weird fifth-year senior who sells you weed reminded you to stop by his Harvest Fest table for a special discount and some awesome merch.

“Man, it’s a great chance to meet new buyers and mingle with moms,” said your dealer. “Plus, it’s just cool to see how diverse this place is. We all come from such different backgrounds, but it all comes together to form such a unique aura on campus, you know?” added your dealer, who is a misogynist.

At press time, your dealer was being arrested by NLPD.

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