If Conn is serious about sustainability, a switch from gas-guzzling SUVs to environmentally-friendly bikes is long overdue.

Since the dawn of time, Campus Safety has relied on a fleet of Ford Explorers to patrol the college grounds, pursue hammered students on Thursday nights, and loiter on sidewalks. In the process, our in-house security team is poisoning the air around us, releasing filthy fumes that are bad for our lungs and worse for the planet.

It’s time for change. A 21st-century liberal arts school deserves 21st-century vehicles. Campus Safety must replace their CO2-emitting eyesores with a set of modern, nimble, and emission-free bicycles.

The benefits of this switch could not be more obvious. For the $30,000 price tag of a used 2020 Ford Explorer, the College could purchase no fewer than 300 used bicycles. Multiply that by the number of Campo squad cars, add in the dozens of two-wheelers that are left abandoned in bike shelters every semester, and Campus Safety could have literally thousands of bicycle-riding officers swarming the college grounds on a nightly basis.

Beyond sheer quantity, a diverse fleet of bikes provides officers a level of agility that no SUV could ever supply. Need to loop around Tempel? Hop on a road bike and savor the ride. Have to pick up an inebriated student? Grab a tandem bicycle, ride down to the ridges, and enjoy watching them struggle to get on the back (this also serves as a sobriety test). In a hot pursuit? Catch any runner with a BMX. Are there drunk kids hiding in those woods between the Ridges and the Winches? Good thing you’re on a mountain bike.

There are loads of other reasons for Campo to make the switch. Customizable bells. Cool-ass helmets. The warm childhood memories that are sure to fill officers’ hearts as they ride around campus on personalized Little Tikes® Cozy Coupes™. But there is no reason greater than the wellbeing of our students, our staff, our community, and our planet. If Conn cares about our health, Campus Safety must abandon their fossil fuel abominations and replace them with pedal-powered two-wheelers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *